Anxious and Excited

I think the depression that hit me like a brick wall last week is disappearing - maybe gone altogether. Got some antibiotics for the evil infection that has taken over my body. A good thing.

Upcoming surgery and school tests have me feeling mixed emotions - go figure someone who is bipolar feeling mixed about something. It is major surgery and while I have health insurance I will have to pay for some of it - of course I never know how much until about three months afterwards.

I would not have imagined I would have any positive feelings about my tests, but I can see how they will be not merely a hoop for jumping through like so many dogs in tutus, but a learning tool. A good way for me to look at them in these last few months before I take them.

I am concerned that I cannot get a certain someone out of my head, and it isn't the person in my broken relationship. Part of me is not sure if I want this person out of my head, although as I found in my depression last week it can be heart wrenching to have him there, especially when I am not in his head or heart. Ah, human emotions.